Dealing with defiant child behavior is something many parents face and feel powerless about. Knowing how to react is very important and the following advices will help you. You have to remember that defiant child behavior has its roots in your behavior as a parent. Defiant children test their parents until the rules are clear and explained enough for them to accept them and change their behavior.
Let's learn how to make your child understand which behavior is acceptable and which one isn’t.
1. Always apply right away a negative consequence to a bad behavior and a positive consequence to a good behavior. Parents tend to forget to reward their child's good behavior but if it takes an effort to your child and therefore has to be rewarded. Also, it's a great way to make your child choose to have a good behavior. He'll notice he can have a much nicer life by acting in a good way.
2. Give the choice to your child. Don't say "put this on" or "do this right now". Don't give orders, give choices. "The white shirt or the blue one". Stick to the choices you give. Repeat yourself if necessary.
3. Staying calm and firm is extremely important. Your outbursts will only worsen the situation.
4. Be consistent and your child will notice you never give in and that he'll never get what he wants by insisting or being defiant or annoying.
What your child needs is a structure. Often, defiant child behavior comes from an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) which requires more than just a slight change in your own parenting attitude. Don't be afraid with such words. It's a label but kids are different and can't be labelled. Therefore, to prevent such behavior from being carried into adulthood by your child, the structure has to be settled as early as possible. Within the limits you set up, and if they are understood by your child, he'll grow up with values such as respect and will be able to handle problems.
Stopping defiant child behavior, when it seems impossible, can require a parenting program. Indeed, those methods provide full support, a guideline and effective communication tools. It's very important to find your parenting style as it's never too late to make a change occur in your child's behavior.
